Quotes for
Xavier Rousseau (Character)
from L'auberge espagnole (2002)

Les poupées russes (2005)

Xavier: Mr. Everyman is seldom met in... everyday life.

Xavier: If I were you I would call me.

William: [upon arrival in Paris to visit Xavier]
[in French]
William: Hello Paris! I'm a Parisian! Gimme some escargot and red wine!
Xavier: Hey, my scooter is over there.
William: Oh, ok, you got my scooter.
[sees some girls walking by and speaks to them in French]
William: Do you speak French?
[one girl says yes in French]
William: Wanna sleep with me? Always wanted to say that to a French girl!

William: The very first time I saw her I knew at that point, cross my heart hope to die... my life'd never be the same again.
Xavier: [Xavier thinks] Ok that's it a love story is first of all a story.
William: Yeah, well, she just appeared in my life, just like an angel. Probably sounds a bit stupid.
Xavier: No, no, not at all. Go ahead.
William: Well, we saw each other everyday before and after each performance. And I would watch the show every single night, and the only person I could see was her... That Russian company played there for 2 weeks, and eventually of course, you know, they had to move on. And I realized I didn't even know her name. I didn't have an address, a number, nothing!
Xavier: So, so you saw her again? You went to St. Petersburg?
William: Yeah... but it took me a year to get there.
Xavier: Why?
William: Well, because I had to learn Russian for a year first!
Xavier: You?

William: Yeah. So, come on, Xavier, what about you?
Xavier: It's uh... well, uh, it's complicated. I-I have to rewrite a script in English, so I'll probably have to work with some English writers I don't know.
William: You know, I know the best writer in London.
Xavier: Really?
William: Yeah. She's very very good. And she's fit.
Xavier: What - what is "fit"?
William: It's very very sexy.
Xavier: What's her name?
William: Her name's um... Wendy.
Xavier: Wendy? Your sister Wendy?
William: Yeah, yeah. She's also my sister, yeah.

Wendy: This is the best view of London. You see the London Eye there?
Xavier: Oh... Where is Oxford Street.
Wendy: Are you alright?
Xavier: I don't know... I don't feel great. Are you going to this flamenco concert?
Wendy: I don't know. Why not?
Xavier: Oh.
Wendy: What's wrong?... Look I can see something's wrong. What's wrong?
Xavier: [grabs Wendy and kisses her] That's what's wrong.

Kassia: What's your girlfriend like?
Xavier: It's not for my girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.
Kassia: What's this girl who's not your girlfriend like?
Xavier: She's a little shorter than you. She has smaller... I mean... I think she's a size one or two.
Kassia: It depends. Is she thinner than I am? Is she like that girl?
Kassia: No.
[looks around]
Xavier: She's more like her. But not as ugly.
Kassia: Take the two. Your girlfriend can always exchange it. The register's over there.

Xavier: Not to be too insistent... this really isn't for my girlfriend.
Kassia: It's no biggie. Who cares?
Xavier: I don't have a girlfriend. It's for my ex. It's her birthday. I'll give you my number.
Kassia: For...?
Xavier: I don't know. If the dress doesn't fit you can call me. No. I don't know. I've always dreamed of doing that but I never dared. With you, I thought I should dare. Take it, 'cause I feel like a jerk. I'll jot it down. But you have to call tonight or you never will. There.
Kassia: I don't know.
Xavier: Yes, yes! You've got nothing to lose. If I were you I'd call me.

Martine: Morning! Thank you. I'm happy I stayed with you.
Xavier: Yeah, but you can't stay. I'm expecting a girl... friend.
Martine: It's no big deal. Just tell her the truth. We're old friends and we didn't fuck.
Xavier: Yeah, sure.
Martine: She's your girlfriend?
Xavier: Uh... yeah.
Martine: You have a girlfriend?
Xavier: No, not really.
Martine: Is she your girlfriend or not?
Xavier: I don't have a girlfriend, I have girlfriends.
Martine: Do you have a girlfriend or not?
Xavier: I don't have one. I have lots. Is that clear?
Martine: Oh! I forgot how you were. Flip out on your own time. I'm outta here.
Xavier: Well, yeah. She's on her way. It'll be a mess. I have a life. Last night you didn't give me a chance to explain that I had to juggle things this morning.
[... ]
Xavier: Bye. I'm sorry. I was afraid you'd run into her.
Martine: I understand.
Xavier: [opens the door so Martine can leave and Kassia is on the other side] Fuck!
Kassia: Who is she?
Xavier: No one.
Martine: I'm no one. I'm no one? You have your life, I have mine. No problem! But you'll always be someone to me. Always! In anyone's presence.
[Leaves]

Kassia: Who is she?
Xavier: No - my ex, Martine.
Kassia: Not so "ex."
Xavier: She's my ex. It's over. Come in.
Kassia: One in, one out... That doesn't bother you at all.
Xavier: You don't understand.
Kassia: You just line 'em up and don't give a fuck.
Xavier: Exactly. If you don't like it, take a hike.
Kassia: What?
Xavier: Yeah! You're all fucking, stupid bitches! You got that? Now get lost!
Kassia: Asshole.
Xavier: YEAH, I'M AN ASSHOLE.

Wendy: [watching Natacha dance] Now which one...?
William: That one there. Look.
Wendy: The one on the end?
William: No. Look. Right... Second from the left.
Xavier: The blonde one?
Wendy: But they're all blonde!
William: That one! See, look. Second from the left. That one.
Xavier: Right. Yeah. Ok. I see her.
Wendy: They all look the same.
William: No, they don't. She's a great dancer.
Xavier: Who?

Xavier: She must have really been in love to get to this. How can so many sincere moments, one after the other, lead to such misery... who'd want that?

Xavier: ...it was like we had to go through that. Like going through all that wacky shit reassured us somehow- it proved we were in love.

Xavier: What's all this shit about love? How do we get so nuts? The time we waste! When you're alone, you cry, "Will I find her?" When you're not- "Does she love me as much as I love her?" "Can we love more than one person in a lifetime?" Why do we split up? All these fucking questions! You can't say we're uninformed. We read love stories, fairy tales, novels. We watch movies. Love, love, love...!
Isabelle: You could just call her back

Xavier: So who should say I love you?
Wendy: You should say I love you
Xavier: No, you sould say I love you

Xavier: If I think about all the girls I've known or slept with or just desired, they're like a bunch of Russian dolls. We spend our lives playing the game dying to know who'll be the last, the teeny-tiny one hidden inside all the others. You can't just get to her right away. You have to follow the progression. You have to open them one by one wondering, "Is she the last one?"

---

L'auberge espagnole (2002)

[Xavier is trying to convince Wendy to come with the gang to a night club]
Wendy: Xavier, I can't. I've... I've really got to write, okay?
Xavier: But, Wendy, you will write tomorrow. Come on!
Wendy: No. This is my diary. You know, I need to be disciplined.
Xavier: Wendy, you're too serious, you know!
Wendy: What do you mean, I'm too serious?
Xavier: You are not a nun! Come on! Come with us tonight, please!
Wendy: Listen! I'm not a nun! I just don't want to go out with... e-e-everyone! I don't like clubs and... and I don't like dancing. Maybe I'm not your idea of a typical trendy London girl, but techno music bulls me, all right? And if I'm a nun because I don't get out of this house enough for you guys, then that's too bad!

Xavier: He was just like the jerks I always try to avoid. Why was he so desperate to talk to me?

Xavier: When you first arrive in a new city, nothing makes sense. Everythings unknown, virgin... After you've lived here, walked these streets, you'll know them inside out. You'll know these people. Once you've lived here, crossed this street 10, 20, 1000 times... it'll belong to you because you've lived there. That was about to happen to me, but I didn't know it yet.

Xavier: Urquinaona, which sounded Sioux, was added to the list of once bizarre-sounding names tucked into my brain. Urquinaona slipped in next to Honolulu, Punxsutawney, Piccadilly, Massachusetts, Saskatoon and Machu Picchu. It became normal and familiar.

Xavier: Later, much later, back in Paris, each harrowing ordeal will become an adventure. For some idiotic reason, your most horrific experiences are the stories you most love to tell.

Xavier: It was like I'd always lived in this mess. Their bickering was like the constant drone in my head since childhood.

Juan: Been in Barcelona long?
Xavier: Two month.
Juan: [correcting Xavier] Two months.
Xavier: Yeah, fuck. Two months.
Juan: Exactly. You spend too much time in school. Come here more often. This is where you'll learn about Barcelona!
[... ]
Juan: Come back. I'll teach you 'puta madre' Spanish in two months.
Xavier: Puta madre?
Xavier: [voice over] I was fluent in 'puta madre' Spanish in no time. I immediately became a regular.

Isabelle: It's a shame you're not a girl.
Xavier: The world's badly made.

Xavier: I'm French, Spanish, English, Danish. I'm not one, but many. I'm like Europe, I'm all that. I'm a real mess.

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